i am disgusted and disappointed in myself.. i’ll tell you why, just keep reading and i promise i’ll get to the point. i remember when i was young i would go to catechism every saturday, my teacher had a helper.. my whole class thought he was weird because he had this scar traced around the back of his head. he was always happy. he would tell some bad jokes or make random conversation. i remember him touching my shoulder while he was talking, it really bothered me. so ever since i’ve always avoided him. few years after i bumped into him and he still remembered me, he tried to make conversation but i told him that i was busy. he was understanding and polite.

APRIL 24 2011. i went to church for easter sunday. mass began and i saw him sitting a few rows in front of me. it’s been years since i’ve seen him last. i’ve notice that his scar was more visible and that he lacked hair below it. on easter sunday you start mass with the holy rosary. he was one of the chosen few to lead the mass with the prayer. when it was his turn to lead, he didn’t sound the same. his words would slur and he couldn’t pronounce some letters.. so it finally hit me. my mom knew his mom so i asked if he had an illness. my mom answered yes. i don’t know what illness he has but i know now that it involves having multiple brain surgeries.

i’ve never felt such disgust and disappointment in myself.. i wish i hadn’t acted the way i did because all he tried to do was live his life the best possible way he could and tried to share it with others. if i hadn’t known about his illness i honestly would’ve kept avoiding him. let’s think. why do we automatically judge people by their appearances first and never actually take the time to get to know them? you can’t say this isn’t true. we all judge people by their appearances. but in reality not all hobos ask for money just to buy booze, people who look fake can be the realest, just because someone smokes a joint doesn’t mean they’re pot heads. i could go on. what i’m trying to say is that we should all try hard to really get to know someone before we judge them..

anyways prayer to his name will not be mentioned. i promise.. the next time i see him i will definitely put in the effort to get to know him. who knows, his stories might actually amaze me and inspire me.